Archive for the ‘X-Rated?’ Category

I was having a conversation with some of my girls last night, and while we meandered over all sorts of topics there was one that totally stuck with me…

Ya know how girls in movies or on tv or whatever will wake up with a nasty hangover and have no idea whether or not they had sex the night before… ?

Yeah, I don’t get that. I get how it’s possible to not remember the events of the night before, but I always, always know whether or not I have had sex.

If there has been penetration, that’s the very first thing I know when I wake up. You know what happens? My little inner voice starts yapping at me… “Mornin’ Shelbs! Yeah, this is your cooch speaking. I don’t know what all you remember about last night, but just so ya know, you had sex!” Once, I woke up the morning after an obscene amount of drinking, naked in bed with a boy that was infinitely important to me, who I was once in love with, in fact… but I knew – because my cooch didn’t start yappin’ at me right away – that however it was that I got naked, there was no sex that night.

Now, maybe it’s me that’s weird. Maybe not every girl has that little inner voice that informs them about this type of shit. Maybe I’m crazy. Whatever the case, if I’ve had sex, I always feel the physical aftermath. Even if it was so completely lackluster that I don’t remember it. Even if my raging hangover makes me wish I would just go ahead and die…. and I don’t remember it.