Ok, listen up gentlemen, because this post is completely aimed at you.
I know that you probably think that you’re being all kinds of sweet and charming, but I need to tell you a really big secret. Are you listening? Ok. Here’s the deal…
I do not really like it when you come straight out of the gate with the pet names and whatnot. You don’t get to call me “baby,” or any variation of “baby,” just because you happen to think I’m cute. I also know that I’m not alone feeling this way! I know lots of girls who are not charmed by this behavior at all!
I’m glad you think I’m cute. I dig that you think I’m fun to talk to and that you have a great time when I’m around. I take these things as the compliments that they are. However, while I may like you, while I may also enjoy your company, it does not mean I’m your baby! I promise that you’ll know for sure if you’re allowed to call me pet names. If you’re not sure, or I’ve never used one for you, then you’re not allowed.
Also, if we’re IMing or texting, or whatever … lay off the emoting that you’re snuggling up to me or kissing my nose or what the hell ever else it is you seem to think I’m going to think is so cute. It’s not cute. It kind of creeps me out. And if I happen to be trying to actually have a conversation with you, how about not mentioning how much you’d like to see my boobs.
I mean really!
Let me preface this by saying that I haven’t had a wink of fucking sleep all night. I’m tired, cranky, and there’s a slight possibility that I’ve just downright snapped. But, here’s the thing. I’m done crying over all the… bullshit. I am done being hurt.
I’m not perfect. I’m far from it. I always do my damnedest to be a good friend, though, and when I do fall short I’m quick to try to repair that. Friendship is important to me, it means something to me. And while I refuse to give up on people, I am all done believing every single person who says that they’re my friend, just because they say they are. Show me.
If I only matter to you at certain times, or under certain conditions, fuck you. Yeah, that’s right. Fuck you. Because while I am, as I said, far from perfect, I don’t do that shit. And if I appeared to be doing that shit, I’d want to be told.
So, no more hurting. No more tears. No more fucking whining.
To the following people, in no particular order, thank you, sincerely, for always being the best kind of friend to me…
- KH
- Lori
- Mike
- Maria
- Cary
- Boon
- Heath
For all that I’ve bitched, moaned, and whined lately, I know that I am very lucky.
Could someone please tell me why people say things that they don’t mean? Why do they make promises that they know that they can’t really keep? What good comes from it? They tell you what you want to hear when you want to hear it, but then let you down. Break your heart and tear you up.
More importantly, why do I believe them? Why is this a lesson that I can’t seem to learn? Why do I always believe the lie? I’m smarter than this. I’m so much smarter than this. Or at least, I used to think I was. But I keep falling for it, hook, line and sinker. I can’t decide which of us that makes more full of fail.
I give. I’ll hold on to the friends I know I can count on… and somehow I’ll find a way to toughen up.
Here’s a few lessons that I have learned recently, and I want them written down so that I remember them. If you think this is about you, before you scream and yell at me, stop and take a minute please, and ask yourself why you think it’s about you.
A real friend is there for you when you have a hard time. They take the good with the bad. For every time you share a laugh with someone, there is going to be at least one time where you just can’t laugh, no matter how much you want to. A real friend understands this, and will stick by you even through the tears. Even when the tears come hard and fast and they can’t understand you through the sobbing. They’ll still be there to listen – no matter how hard a job that is. Maybe they’ll even “bubble” you. 
A real friend understands when, sometimes, things just don’t work out the way that you want them to. Plans get made and sometimes have to be changed or canceled. Your friends may be very, very high on your priority list, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t certain things right up there with them on that list, or maybe even, slightly higher. If plans get changed or canceled for something else that is important, too, a real friend is understanding, and doesn’t make you feel guilty or judge or condemn you for it.
A real friend doesn’t say one thing to your face and another behind your back.
A real friend worries about you when you are sick. Not just because of how it might affect them, but because they actually care about you.
I’ve not updated in some time. And that would not be because I haven’t had anything to talk about. It’s a lot more likely that it’s because I have way too much to talk about.
Had a ginormous fight with the neighbor. I believe I dropped the c-bomb on her at one point in the argument. Not exactly something I’m altogether proud of. However, in my defense, I did tell her relatively calmly when I first got upset with her that she should leave my house, and that I was not comfortable with her being there at the moment. I may not have been calm, cool, and collected enough to say “You’re making me uncomfortable, please leave now, before I say something really spiteful and cruel,” but I know I said it without shouting and without any cursing at first.
Got a PS3 and Little Big Planet for Xmas, just a bit early. Oh, ok more than a bit. I had it before Thanksgiving, even. Speaking of that, the ham was delicious. 
I’m so glad that clearly my loathing for turkey is genetic in nature. (My mom doesn’t like it either, therefore she doesn’t cook it, and since Thanksgiving is always with Mom… )
My uncle had a lung taken out due to Phoenix Valley Fever. (Go ahead, look it up if need be, I’ll wait.) The surgery itself was actually not so bad he says, and the hospital stay was short, but he had to have a boatload of chemotherapy, apparently. So far, so good, though he’ll never be running a four minute mile – but come to think of it, he never ran a mile ever, anyway, in any amount of time.
Have had severe falling outs with several people that I care a great deal for. I’m not sure if you can call it an actual falling out if they just suddenly up and stop talking to you – but what do I know? Obviously I’ve done something wrong, because it’s not just one friend. I suck. /wrists?
I think I hate the Holly-daze. Bah humbug, I say!