F.I.N.E. Fine.

I think, that for the most part, I am not a hateful person. I’ve never been great at holding a grudge, or staying pissed off. For the most part, when I get angry it’s because something has hurt my feelings, or the feelings of someone I love. Sometimes, though, everything gets the better of me all at once and little things are amplified. Amplified in the extreme.

And then I say or do completely idiotic things. Which, when I’ve come to my senses, I know that I shouldn’t have said or done. I know that I’m in the wrong, and I have zero issue accepting that, or apologizing for it, and carefully avoiding making the same mistake more than once. I’m not perfect, by a long shot, and I know it all too well. I just hope that I will be forgiven.

I feel … like shit. KH is losing his job, I’m scared, terrified… and I imagine he’s pretty scared, too. He keeps telling me that it will be fine. It doesn’t feel fine. Nothing comes close to feeling fine at all!

I’ve noticed lately that I have no appetite. That someone has to remind me that I need to eat something, or else, I might go the whole day without bothering. Of course, whether I have an appetite or not I need to eat. I have zero desire to slowly starve to death.

I’m kinda wishing I could just bury my head in the sand and make the world go away for a while.

Cheese & Rice!

So I had the worst day today.

I got a new hard drive (with an orgasmic 500gb more space). This is not the bad part. I installed it, and then a fan in my case (spare fan, not vital one) decided that it was going to start rattling and shit after I put the side of the case back on. This is still not the bad part, although that fan is driving me batshit insane.

Ok, more batshit insane than I usually am.

I admit to being one of those Second Life losers. Only, I get to make stuff (which I have fun doing) and get paid for that (which I also have fun with). So, right. Not really that much of a loser, now, thank you very much. Just kinda (ok, a lot) geeky. Nerdy. All of the above. Whatever. I also admit to being moderately (read: extremely) pervy and terribly fond of the female form. So, Emerald (an alternative SL viewer) decided that they would do something terribly fun and they enabled enhanced phsyics on the avatar chest. (Read: JIGGLE BOOBS ZOMG!) Now, this also isn’t bad, not bad at all! It’s awesome, in fact… when it fuckin’ works.

It decided to stop working today, repeatedly. Now, this in and of itself doesn’t really make for THE worst day, but I frowned a bit about this.

The ratting fan in and of itself didn’t really make for THE worst day, either, but I frowned a bit more.

The viruses (virii!) on my computer in and of themselves did not make for THE worst day, but I frowned still more.

Every CD I own refusing to read all by itself didn’t wreck my day, but I frowned still more. By this time the corners of my mouth were pretty much permanently pointing in a distinctly southerly direction, though.

All of this together, added to K screaming at me and making me cry, though, did make for a pretty terribad day.

It’s ok, though. K made it all better when he said, in reference to the noises my dad was making in the kitchen “He sounds like the Swedish Cock out there!” (Note: He’s Dutch, folks, and what he meant was that he sounded like the Swedish Chef. However, in the future when my dad acts ridickerous I’m just going to say to everyone, “Don’t mind him, he’s a Swedish cock.”)