I’m up at 2:07 a.m. on this lovely Mother’s Day because … I woke up and Top Gun was on. I almost fell asleep again, I mean, I’ve seen this movie eleventy billion times, but then… Goose had to go and die.
So I bawled.
And now I can’t sleep.
So… HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY. 
I’ve not updated in some time. And that would not be because I haven’t had anything to talk about. It’s a lot more likely that it’s because I have way too much to talk about.
Had a ginormous fight with the neighbor. I believe I dropped the c-bomb on her at one point in the argument. Not exactly something I’m altogether proud of. However, in my defense, I did tell her relatively calmly when I first got upset with her that she should leave my house, and that I was not comfortable with her being there at the moment. I may not have been calm, cool, and collected enough to say “You’re making me uncomfortable, please leave now, before I say something really spiteful and cruel,” but I know I said it without shouting and without any cursing at first.
Got a PS3 and Little Big Planet for Xmas, just a bit early. Oh, ok more than a bit. I had it before Thanksgiving, even. Speaking of that, the ham was delicious. 
I’m so glad that clearly my loathing for turkey is genetic in nature. (My mom doesn’t like it either, therefore she doesn’t cook it, and since Thanksgiving is always with Mom… )
My uncle had a lung taken out due to Phoenix Valley Fever. (Go ahead, look it up if need be, I’ll wait.) The surgery itself was actually not so bad he says, and the hospital stay was short, but he had to have a boatload of chemotherapy, apparently. So far, so good, though he’ll never be running a four minute mile – but come to think of it, he never ran a mile ever, anyway, in any amount of time. 
Have had severe falling outs with several people that I care a great deal for. I’m not sure if you can call it an actual falling out if they just suddenly up and stop talking to you – but what do I know? Obviously I’ve done something wrong, because it’s not just one friend. I suck. /wrists?
I think I hate the Holly-daze. Bah humbug, I say!
Note: Yes, this is about someone specific. No, it’s probably not you. I don’t think that the person that it is about even knows about my blog. If said person does, eh… well at least you can take comfort in the fact that I didn’t call you out by name, right? Because, yeah… I’m whining, but that’s because you’re being a bad friend.
I’m as flawed as the next human, maybe even more so, but I do try to make it a point to be a good friend.
So how come lately I feel like I don’t get the same in return?
If I make plans with a friend, even if they are tentative, I will show up – unless something comes up that I have no control over and must attend to. And if that happens, I will not just leave someone hanging.
So how come I don’t get the same?
If someone I care for is upset, especially if it’s because of something I have done, I will stay until we work it out. Even if I’m tired. Even if I have things I’d rather be doing than arguing/fighting/etc.
So how come I don’t get the same?
I’ve zero desire to waste my time crying over someone who clearly doesn’t care. Unfortunately for me, I don’t have a switch I can flick on or off that controls whether or not I care about them. Life would get so much easier if I did.
… which is why I’m making heavy use of the spell check right now, and why I am not going to say TOO much.
To My Loyal Reader: Just so you know, what I really wanted to say is simply that I understand. And that I wish that I could make that one thing all better, but I know I can’t. I’m also going to apologize (again but) publicly for giving you a hard time. I’ll do better, but I will still keep fishing. 
Woke up this morning and my internet was shut off. Called my ISP, who is also my phone & cable provider, and asked what the deal was. My cable & phone were still working, so it was just my net. Spent an hour and a half on hold, only to find out that my cable & phone were about to be shut off, too, and it was due to a back balance.
First, I was told I need $305 to get it turned back on. Well, let’s just say I don’t have $305 right this minute. Second, if I did have $305, it’d probably be needed for more life-and-death shit than my internet. No internet = little contact with KH. My cell phone just isn’t an option for calling the Netherlands and talking all damn day. Needless to say I was not a happy camper at all.
But, the funny thing is, the little crisis this morning (which obviously turned out to have a happy ending) really put a lot of things in perspective. A lot of things that had been bothering me, a lot of issues I was having, were completely laid to rest. The grass on my side of the fence is indeed plenty green.